You know you want them.
You know you look at them and drool.
You know you're already putting the "perfect" outfit together in your head....
You know you can taste the pleasure of touching them....
You know you have day dreams about how they're gonna sparkle in the sunshine....
......but you also know you cannot afford them...
Hey I've been there man! Boy fucking howdy have I... Almost every month! And that's where the DESIGNER INSPIRED SHOE (don't wanna call them knock offs I guess cus that shits illegal) comes into play...
I have a few sites I go to to get my fix... I'm also lucky enough to be friends with a few folks in the high end shoe business who are my "enablers" and give me steep ass fucking discounts..... But since I can't name names on that y'all are just gonna have to take the gifts I'm about to bestow and do with it what you will... Or get your own shoe pimp....
So before I start just handing out My little treasures... I'm gonna have to go ahead and say a few things (come on kids you know me by now... I love giving info) .... You NEED to be fucking careful... Seriously! In a search for a pair of heels last night... I came up against 2 scam sites... They seem legit... But when it's time to pay... It redirects your ass to some odd ass site that does not seem secure... And when I thought to myself "fuck this noise I'm not that damn desperate for a bargain" and backed out (totally exited the site before I submitted ANY PAYMENT INFO) I thought I was all clear.... Oh helllllll no...
At 1150something Cali time... I get a fucking phone call... And as we all learned in a past blog.... My honey has been called up back into the Marines So I am paranoid that I'm gonna get a call that either he's hurt somehow... Or that he has to go before I can rape him.... But no... It's some Chinese chick talking in either an über whisper... Or just her little Chinese chick voice and I'm like "what the fuck?????" and she informs me that my order for my shoes has had a problem with the payment.... It didn't go through.... To which I let bai ling know that the problem is... I didn't finish the order because it looked fishy... So there was no problem with the payment because the payment wasn't made... She tries to like somehow convince me that "no no the website is very ok" and I finally get fed up... Tell her it's almost midnight in California so if she called me again I'd ram a knitting needle up her ass.... I don't know who hung up first... It was prolly me... But you know she wasn't too far behind...
...then I got an email from a HOTMAIL address... Just to add to the Jank-assedness that this chick is trying to get me to go along with.... And it's like "girl... Give up..."
So I cannot stress this enough... If it looks "too good to be true"..... It prolly IS!!!!
Well what the fuck how do I get these damn designer inspired shoes you're gushing about????
....patience.... And practice... And common sense... If the site does not offer secure payment (meaning that your shit will not be used for ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT YOU ARE AGREEING TO PURCHASE... Which most sellers offer...) or there isn't a way to get a 100% refund... RUN FOR THE FUCKING HILLS!!
To remedy this you COULD use a prepaid gift visa card... but if you get burned you're still gonna be out whatever you were burned for.... so i mean if you got the balls... go for it.... i have the balls... so sometimes i take that leap... and sometimes i belly flop like a motherfucker....
If the site has no "feedback" or "customer comments".... don't bother... in today's day and age fucking everyone is bitching about everything... so you know that if someone else got screwed we'd allll fucking know it right away!
GOOGLE IT!!!!!! Google the damn website... that's how you can find most scams or "iffy" businesses.... sometimes you can find a website that gives you a percentage rating of how trustworthy the website actually is... anything under 52% i don't really bother with...
Just because a site may say "_whatever business___.Org" doesn't mean that its legit.... you kinda just have to go with your gut here... here's a link to some rotten ass fish... these are the shoes I'm trying to get currently
if you're afraid to make payment on the site.. don't do it... nothing is worth your bank account getting drained...
don't just search online for "christian loubontin knockoffs".... try to figure out the shoes NAME.... trust me this could be a challenge all on its own... but say for my red white and blue peep toes... i googled just that.... and i came up with the fact that they are called "miss America" so then you google like: Christian Loubontin Miss America... and usually you'll get some people blogging about how much they love them... but then you can click around and get to sites that offer them....
be careful what you are willing to pay...because allot of times these shoes come and they are flawed or made differently than you would see a CL or YSL shoe... in which case...duh...they gotta alter them for infringement reasons... trust me... unless it looks like complete ass.... no ones gonna notice...and it'll just be our little secret...
try not to be in too much of a hurry to get your fix... or you could seriously fuck yourself over... just take your time... don't go with the first thing that pops up offering something...
you may find something better for a better price! don't count out DSW people! they don't have CL or YSL or JC but they do have allot of cute shoes that come in!! before you get burned look at legit shoe places for deals on other things!
don't get heart broken if you cant have THOSE... i think I'm gonna have to wait for J** to come on home before i splurge on anything like the "miss America" sling backs...because no where is offering them without trying to rip me off...
don't give out personal info or sign up for anything unless you want to be bugged at all hours of the fucking day or night... like i did with the damn Asian trying to harass my ass at midnight!
remember: these people don't care about you. you're in the jungle baby doll..... and we're all out to get something here...
don't always think eBay holds the key and that you should just "spend the $500 because at least you wont get ripped off"....I'm telling you... if i can find deeply discounted footwear....what makes you think the seller cant? If you can hardly tell the difference between the real thing and the discounted.... then unless you bought them from neiman marcus or bloomingdales your own personal self...you're gonna have to be very cautious.
finding shoes is fun and exciting and when you score big you feel good! but you cant expect to not take a few lumps when you're just learning things... the only way you can protect yourself is to not play fast and loose with shit...
i hope this helps a little... because the deeply discounted shoe is your friend... its just the fist full of assholes trying to sell said shoe to you that is not your friend!
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