Couldn't do it.. Just couldn't find it in my heart....

So.... I'm depressed.... Not like "I'm gonna kill myself" emo kid shit.... Not even "everyone hates me" depressed.... So I guess maybe its not "depressed"....?

 I'm having mild feelings of abandonment... There ya go... That's what this shit is...


....so here's life... Here's the facts of life today as I know it...

.... My man is a United Sates Marine.... I feel the need to say it that way because sometimes when I say(write) that he's a Marine... I don't want to conjur images of a fucking fisherman or something really unjazzy like that.... So he's a US Marine... And he has been a civilian (active reserve) for.... I dunno... 6 years??.... And I've known him/been "with" him for almost 2 years...

....ugh I guess I should also mention that for all intents and purposes..... I am.. In fact... Still legally married to my first husband... He didn't hit me... Didn't abuse me... Wasn't a BAD guy... He was just... Lazy... And not just "doesn't pick up his socks" lazy or "doesn't offer to help with shit around the house" lazy (I mean he WAS... But that I can deal with).. He was lazy in the relationship... Didn't make time for me...didn't include me in his time off from work... Like he was off weekends... I had to work till 12pm sat & sun... But I'd get home by 1245 or 1pm... So that's like... Hang out time... Right????.... No... I'd get a text at 9am (while I was at work) saying, "I'm gonna hang out at __________'s house".... The first couple times I was like "ok no biggie we'll hang out later... Or... Tomorrow... Couples need fucking time apart too... All good... I'll read me some books.... Paint my nails... Watch fucking America's Next Top Model reruns... Whatever....."

    But the kid wouldn't get home till fucking 11 or 12 at night.... Sometimes later and I began to feel very lonely and isolated.... As awesome as I am.... And as fucking hilarious as I find myself... I just don't really have a shit load of friends in my little black book to call up and all that because.... I'm a bitch.... But more because I can't stand females... I just hate the shit they say and do to each other.... I can't fucking stand it...

Anyhow...needless to say... I started to not be happy in the relationship... And I tried taking my husband to dinner... Just him and I... So I could sit with him and tell him without any distractions... That I wasn't happy..... And he'd be like "ok ill work on it".... And then the next weekend would come along and I'd be planning picnics and bike rides in my head... And come 9am... I'd get the text....


.....allot of you are like "who fucking cares... Where is this rant going??".... Shut the fuck up.... I'll get there....

....another point of contention was the fact that I really wanted to start our family.... And he.... Didn't... We used to have the "I want the baby to have your eyes and your nose and my lips and...." convos.... But then the convos became
Me: (playfully)  where's our baby?
Him: (not playful at all) ... We can't afford it.


....since when in the fucking world was that a requirement?? Shit half the people who have kids wouldn't have them...

...but then I started to feel like if I had a kid... I'd only be trying to fill the void in my happiness that my husband should have had....


.....so then.... I met J**.... It was innocent... Started off with "hey this person is way cool and funny and funny to talk to/joke with".... NOTHING HAPPENED PHYSICALLY.... We hung out sporadically.... I lost touch with him a few times.... And then in 2010 we just started emailing and texting and then calling.... And the feelings really picked up from there... But here's the crux......... we have not.. let me repeat that HAVE NOT been TOGETHER (physically) since we FIRST MET...

.... say whhhhaaatt???........... its true... I like to call it our "creepy Christian Relationship" because its like we're both saving ourselves for Marriage... which is so not the fucking case... but we've been apart for 2 years so... you know... we have had a "long distance" relationship since we decided that feelings of love had developed... how did this crazy shit happen? you may well wonder... well... I hate to sound all cliche and shit...but I really do fall in love from between my ears first... then my heart takes hold and I'm gone........ I loved his sense of humor, his strength, his laugh, his openness to whatever I felt like blurting out... He never once was like, "dude you're a bitch" when I would get pissy or mad at him for odd reasons... He stuck in there... and he Loved me... He honestly and without being around my awesome rack...Long Legs... or Bangin "Monroe-esqe" Bod... Loved me... oh yes he was ATTRACTED to me... as i was with HIM... but we fell in love with each other's PERSONALITIES first...which is so much more lasting....

... so He's from Florida... yea... Florida... How'd we meet then??...... use your brain... i ain't gonna come out and say it so use your goddamn brain..... And he works for GM... and those of you who are either A: Clueless, B: too young to care. C: From another country, or D: stupid as a box of hair.... you may know that "The Big Three" (used to be Four but its really GM, FORD, and i THINK Chrysler... but i could be wrong there I'd have to ask J**) went into... Bankruptcy...GM was part of the "bail-out" and they closed a SHIT LOAD of dealerships in the US that had not been performing well... so J**, being a single guy at the time... gets offered a shit-load of money to go all around the eastern United States... closing the dealerships down properly... and then.. WE MEET... and fall in love.... well hes already under contract to close the fucking things down so we both think "if we stick it out... he'll come home and we can start the relationship right and he'll have a good solid job".... so he gets close to finishing... then GM decides that they want to send him to fucking TENNESSEE to REOPEN a decommissioned SATURN factory so it can produce The Chevy  Equinox... so that put a wrench in our shit... and I'm thinking "fuck it.. I can do this... I can wait this out"

We're in constant contact... we text... call... phone sex.. the whole deal... we're good... I'm good... its ok... He's been there since OCTOBER... now this place is like 6.1 MILLION square feet big ok... so its taking fucking time.... aaaannnddd... just last month.. he tells me (FINALLY) that hes done.. all he has to do is start the plant up.. it has to run for 72 hours (which i made him convert into days because I'm a moron) with NO PROBLEMS... and then hes DONE.... Well... whatever can go wrong will right???............. a fucking 2 Ton fire door FALLS and crushes the test car... so he spends 3 weeks trying to get this fucking door up and hung back up... without it FALLING FLAT on the floor because then it'll be fucking impossible to lift... and its like a 300,000$ fucking door...

...... and then... one morning... he texts me at 9am or so to ask me how I'm doing... i text back i was "lonely"......... and i get no response.... so at 10am i text "thanks" because i think hes being a dick and just doesn't want to hear me whine anymore........... at 8pm i finally get pissed enough to CALL him..... and his phone is shut off.... my heart drops... all kinds of things go through my head: Did i piss him off???? Is he dumping me?? Did he find someone else and got caught talking to me and the bitch made him shut his shit down??? DID THE FUCKING DOOR FALL ON HIM???? Is he MARRIED and his wife found out and shut his shit off????.... I'm freaking the fuck out....
.....I finally figure I'll email him because i don't have any other way to contact him.... the next day i get an email.... he's been called up by the Marines and he had to leave his job and go with them... now i had to google allot of this shit because J** and I never talked about his job in the Marines... I know what he did... I know his job... I know numbers that normal people do not know.... but I cannot and will not explain what that means because his safety is first and foremost to me... but i had to google "called up"... it pretty much means J** was Active Reserve... and he has been asked back into the Marines because of his specific job making him an asset...

.... so he had to leave his job... which meant turning in his company phone... and go wherever the nearest Marine base was..........

 so to ME... he abandoned me... he says he only had HOURS to get his shit and go... i still wonder why he could just fucking text me real quick??...... so there's where my abandonment feelings come from.. i feel like he left me... dumped me... dropped me... i understand NOW that he had no choice in the matter and that by being ACTIVE reserve... it was ALWAYS a possibility that he could be called back up..... but i guess i just took it for granted that the fucking country was coming out of all the "conflicts" that have been going on... and i don't have cable so I've been blissfully unaware of whats going on in the world... and I've been happy as a clam planning our vacation to Hawaii and all over California.... and now.... we're farther apart than before.... and so.. I'm devastated... and every time we email... my feelings of hurt and anger and abandonment come to the surface and we argue... we argue about how he doesn't understand my feelings... and how he feels the same and i don't understand that... and how he never says that he feels the same till I'm pissed so no wonder i don't understand him... fuck... its lame... its very lame....


This has no become the lamest most annoying post... ugh... but i swear i have an idea for the next post that may make up for all this bullshit here.... I'm gonna share with you my favorite websites and tricks to get........ wait for it................. DESIGNER KNOCKOFFS!!!!!! Or Deep DEEP discounted Designer Shoes!!!! yaaaayyyyy.............



and I'll prolly do this post before Monday... and then hopefully still have something for Monday too....


I'm seriously sorry but I felt the need to explain whats been going on in my life that makes me withdraw from shit... and I know its like "well this is just your rants about shoes"... but in my ever present quest for shoes... My dream is and has always been to really come into being a SHOE BUYER for a Major Department store... so i feel that this could somehow segway into such a thing.... iiiffff i could stop cussing ;)

Devistation on the home front....

My honey has been called up for service. We got so close to him coming back home..... I'm blown away that this is happening.... But I hope that we can be together despite this....


I don't have an idea for Monday's blog..... But I'm trying... I'm just so scatter brained right now... I have no clue what to talk about.... I guess I'll have to switch to military shoes... And how to keep your feet healthy :(

shoes i want... Always on the quest for the Perfect Shoe.......

The hunt for the perfect red shoes has ended
Hale Bob  Glitter Heel
 Bordello pink platform glitter pump

Emerald green high heels

Finding THE perfect shoe!

As always (lately) I'm a lame ass and totally forgot what day it was.... Thank you job for hurting my feet and scrambling my brain.... I know the DATES.... Just not the DAYS at any given time... Ah well... I caught it.....



 This week I would like to talk about..... Finding the perfect pair of shoes for a special occasion... Dances/parties... Weddings (your own or if you're a guest) christenings.... Or even funerals...


 Choosing the perfect pair of shoes that complement your chosen outfit is not as easy as it seems. You have to really take the time to select your shoes. Just because you may have (or may not have... Deals are out there for the adventurous huntress) paid tons of money for them does not make them the perfect pair. Take the time to walk around the house with your chosen pair of shoes on. Dance in them.... Do almost everything you would do normally around the house in your shoes....

There are a few things to really consider when buying shoes for special occasions (weddings, christenings, house warming parties, cocktail, etc.)

1: heel height. You have to choose from high (my personal favorite, and the bulk of my shoe collection.) High heels are elegant and really lean the legs. They are however, not a favorite for dancing, or standing for long periods of time. 

  There is also mid Heel, they really aren't too high or too short for the average heel wearer... I'd say a "mid heel" is from 3"-4".... But I am probably wrong because to me that's too short... But to most that's too high... From what I've read in magazines and fashion sites, the mid heel "flatters any height and figure".... But my knowledge on that is pretty limited.... 

...... I gotta stress here that I am not Giselle or whatever model is "in" now.... I'm 6' tall, and have Marilyn Monroe-esqe curves (I have hips, and boobs and a white girl ass ok?? *i.e. low ass amplitude*) so I'm curvy but not fat... If that makes sense... So for ME and my OWN personal tastes and talents.... I tend to go for the HIGHER/HIGHEST heels I can get my hands on.... My love and passion are what I like to call hooker heels and my grandma always called "fuck me shoes")

.....random offshoot.... I can hear my upstairs neighbors boning..... Gross....

.... So my personal tastes are attempting to get in the way here... And try as I might I just can't fight everything....

.... Wtf she just answered the phone in the middle of her session??? I'd be pissed if I was "the dood of the week"...... Fuck sorry... It's just so random and disrespectful that my neighbor is so fucking loud... That bitch stomps on my head when I'm yelling at my dog.... Whatever... Moving on... Sorry...

...back to shoes..... After high, and mid.... You have..... You guessed it.... The thorn in my fucking side.. Low heels.... There's something about comfort and yada yada yada...I refuse to believe low heeled shoes exist... Sorry... Moving on...

There are allot of things that need to come into play when you are picking (or buying NEW heels....hint hint....) shoes out for special occasions...

You gotta keep in mind... The VENUE...wherever the event is going to take place is VERY important.... Garden/Tea parties held out doors in actual gardens... Or the dreaded funeral (a sad but true part of life... And in the last 3 years ive had to go to 3 funerals) Are gonna play hell on your heels of ANY height... Your gonna sink into grass, sand, mud, whatever's out there to sink in... You're gonna fall victim.... Unless that is you follow my simple instructions... When walking grass.... Walk on the BALL of the foot..."aren't I already doing that by wearing heels in the first damn place?".... Nope... Many of you are still shifting your weight back to the heel... That's why your heels make the "click thump" sound.. Cus the heel strikes first and then the ball of the foot.... That's ok that's ok.... Thats normal dudes... I do, you do, everyone does it ok? But what I'm saying is to keep your weight balanced on the FRONT of the shoe not the heel WHEN WALKING ON GRASS or other softish surfaces... And your heels won't sink and get muddy! Trust.... And try it...

You also gotta consider comfort... You're prolly gonna have to be wearing your shoes for most of the day, so you kinda gotta pick something that's comfortable enough to do all of your standing, walking, and dancing in.... Unless you (like me) don't really give a rats ass then GO FOR IT!

Something people don't really think is all that much of a deal... Is the COLOR of your shoes.... Now I'm not saying wear a green dress with orange pumps or pink with baby shit brown... Unless that's the look you're going for... In which case... Hey...right on.... But most people tend to pick "safe" (boring) neutral colors.... Why not go crazy?? For my aunts mother-in-laws funeral... I wore purple heels (because that was her favorite color) for my grandpas funeral I wore pink... Very bright pink... (Because he liked my shoes bright).... For my moms funeral I wore the "something blue" manolo blahnik pump (i dont know how else to describe the color) 

  I just dig bright shoes... So add a pop of color to your feet. It don't hurt no one and sometimes that's just a little way to honor someone...

Another cool thing we get to consider with your shoes are the embellishments! Jewels, beading, glitter, rhinestones, embroidery.... Just don't have a holly hobby pair of shoes where shit falls off.... You'll have a "show girls" moment on the damn dance floor

Your shoes really do have the potential to transform your whole persona! You just have to know what can complement your outfit and accessories in the best possible way.. And if you keep the heel height appropriate for you needs, the venue, the comfort, and the color in mind... Everything else should tie together nicely!

Keep your heels, head, and standards high..... The world of high heel myths..

So I'm not sure if I'm just friends with some scardey cats... Or if my acquaintances really feel this... But in talking to a couple of squirrel friends... They've asked a couple questions and after I laugh and call them stupid.... I kinda wondered myself.. So I made myself more informed... And thus.... I am sharing this knowledge with y'all.... Hey... What kind of fairy shoe mother would I be if I taught you to hunt for shoes.. But didn't teach you how to use their power?..... Not a very fucking good one that's for sure!


So let us begin:

Shoe myths that should go out the fucking window.

1: High heels give you back problems. Well I guess they COULD if you walk around like lurch all the fucking time... High heels actually make you walk taller with your shoulders back because they shift the center of weight. As women (well... If your well endowed like myself and countless others... Hey whether you bought em or grew your bounty their yours!) our "center of gravity" is usually more to the front of our bodies up towards the top of us (your tit area... For those of you who are either mosquito bitten, or just plain don't get it) only people with predispositions to back problems have a higher probability of having back problems in the first place. Walking in 5-6" heels for extended periods of time can cause excess pressure on the front of your ankles... The part you look right down on.... But I know few people who wear heels 8 hours a day 7 days a week...

      When I worked in an office I'd take flip flops or cute flats to work to wear on my lunch break or when I went out on errands and had to walk around town a little... I suggest the same for anyone on vacation or at work. Does wonders for ya!

Myth 2: high heels make my muscles cramp up and make my legs sore... A: stop your fucking whining; odds are your using muscles you didn't even know fucking existed till you strapped your puppies into some heels... And B: women who wear heels actually have stronger muscles than those who don't!

 Yep, it's true. Wearing stilettos actually strengthens your leg, pelvic muscles, and your "core" or tummy muscles. When wearing heels everything tightens up to hold you into place... You usually feel it more in your calves and don't even know that your doing kegal exercises all day...but you are! When your foot is forced into a certain position (Barbie toe) the pelvic muscles tighten and contract....
   You also tend to suck in the tummy more when in heels too. I think it's just the body's natural reaction to your legs tightening while wearing heels..... Sweet! A work out and a vagina firming!!! Ding ding ding!!!! We haaaaavvveee a winnaaaah!!!


.......quick trivia moment.... Just found this out actually while I was looking for a picture to spruce this shit up... High heels were Made for soldiers In the 1500s Who needed a way to keep their feet Snugly tucked into their stirrups while riding on horseback.... See children... Cross dressing is normal!


Myth 3: pregnant women shouldn't wear high heels..... Well OK even I'll admit that this one has SOME validity... And this has only come up because so many of my squirrel friends have just been pregnant and now have the baby, or ARE pregnant.... But it's kinda funny because none of them really wore heels to begin with... But I guess as I am the go-to shoe gal... And I kinda wanted to know for my own personal self, as I am wanting my own little bundle of joy just as soon as the ink on my divorce papers is dry.... So I asked... And this is what I now know..

It's really a matter of balance and equilibrium. Being pregnant makes walking in heels more challenging. The extra weight while pregnant shifts your center of gravity, and makes stumbling all the more likely....

  Ok, well... i get that wearing sky high high heels is probably not the best idea in the world when you're hauling around allot more weight than usual...but as a trained high heel wearing professional I have been told that, as long as the feet, legs, or ankles are not swollen or sore, you can wear heels well into your third trimester. It seems that most women just don't feel like traipsing around in much more than slippers or flip flops when their feeling like a beached whale..... Usually the discomfort of the swelling is what makes most ladies steer clear of high heels. Many women cannot even fathom stuffing their piggies into REGULAR SHOES... let alone into 5" heels.... well let me be the first to vow to wear heels for as much of my pregnancy as i possibly can... i don't know why you wouldn't want to wear heels to be honest with you.... you gotta keep some sex in your life while your husband is around you and you bein' all moody and fucken free willy'n and shit...

Myth 4: Just in General, high heels are "bad" for your feet. It seems most of the myths are about back and foot pain... so in my research of these I actually found that high heeled shoes are "bad" for some women (flat feet, wide feet, predisposed to back pain, leg pain, neck pain) but high heeled shoes actually HELP women (like my own personal self) with HIGH ARCHES! That's right babies!!! If you have High Arches your foot is actually MORE comfortable in a HIGH HEELED SHOE than when wearing a flat shoe.

   Those of us with high arches run the risk of injury from shin splints (The term "shin splints" refers to pain along or just behind the shinbone (tibia) — the large bone in the front of your lower leg. Medically known as medial tibial stress syndrome, shin splints occur during physical activity and result from too much force being placed on your shinbone and connective tissues that attach your muscles to the bone.Mayo Clinic ref.) foot and heel pain, and planter fasciitis (Plantar fasciitis is inflammation of the thick tissue on the bottom of the foot. This tissue is called the plantar fascia. It connects the heel bone to the toes and creates the arch of the foot. PubMed Ref.) and stress fractures.

I found this out while asking what may be wrong with my feets... and since i have some scccaarrryyy high arches.... it seems like that's whats wrong with em.

see there's muh foot in some flats... look ridiculous too.

Myth 5: High Heels cause Varicose Veins. Hell no! There is no proven evidence that high heels cause varicose or spider veins. Varicose or spider veins are actually............ HEREDITARY, GENETIC, or happen if you have a HISTORY OF BLOOD CLOTS.... in which case that is something you need to be cautious about all for your own self.. not because of the shoes you wear.

Myth 6: I might slip allot in high heels because they usually don't have rubber soles..... this is a true and a false statement of fact... you may in fact slip and roll your ankle or fall on your ass if you wear high heels and walk on a surface that is smooth (no not ice you fist full of assholes.. I mean like HARDWOOD FLOORS *which heels aren't good for!* or surfaces wet with rain or water *dance floors*) if you do not know how to balance yourself in heels. For me its all about balance and PACING... I recently went to San Francisco with my main Bitch Toby to go see SHARON NEEDLES at a meet and greet party... and i wore my 8' high platform Betsy Johnson Wedge Heels




  And Toby and I walked to go get a drink first at a near by bar... well i have no problem walking in my babies... but I had to PACE myself differently.... he even remarked once when i was like "bitch wait for ME" that "I'm just not used to you having to walk so goddamn slow"....and its true.. in my regular 5" heels I'm a rabbit about town.. darting here and there... but anything higher and you have to slow your shit way down girl...

  Getting back to the SLIPPING issue tho....There are also these really awesome traction pads that are made for heels!

Non-Slip Grip Pads

They totally work to make you feel more stable... i like these the best because they cover more of the bottom sole area of your heel than other ones I've seen.. and they don't look ridiculous like the damn "foot petals" ones that have the gay ass scalloped edges.

Myth 7: High heels make EVERYONE look sexy..... how do I put this gently... no... no they do not..and YES I know I wrote in a previous blog about how high heels make you feel sexy... well... that's just what I said dude... they make you FEEL sexy... but looking sexy... and landing a man if your single... its not a sure-fire fix-all gonna happen type of thing....

   High heels aren't fucking miracle cures! (AND NO I am not gonna sit here and act like I'm fucking the end-all be-all say-all of what BEAUTY is.... I got flaws... I've got some weight that's being firmed off at the gym... I got foot pain..but I know that what I got could bring some boys to the mutherfucking yard.... not that I'd want them to be in my yard... or that my Boyfriend would like that much either... moving on....) But The sad fact of the matter is Just because a pair of high heel shoes or stilettos may look amazing one person doesn't mean they will look amazing on you too. You should always be aware of how your body type may affect the appearance of the clothes, shoes and accessories you wear.... you know you've done the "muffin check" where you see someone who is wearing clothes she CLEARLY shouldn't be... and you run your hands up over your hips to check for muffage.... and even if you're a size 3.... you know that if you try to stuff your stick thin ass into a 0 or a 1 you're gonna have issues..... just face it bro... no one likes pump fat...those who have it prolly don't even like it... it looks uncomfortable.... "mmmkaaay"

So with all these most common worries debunked... I guess I can admit that there ARE some drawbacks to wearing heels...

   as I said above, high heels are fucking HELL on hardwood floors! They actually strike the floor with more force per inch than an elephant's foot (as much as 10,000 pounds per inch) and as the HEEL of a high heel isn't even HALF an inch wide (in my case anyhow) that's gonna be a bitch to fix!

  Wearing High heels all the time causes KNEE problems. Its because the heel angles your foot, and thus your leg, in a strange angle until you get up to the pelvis where you self correct without even knowing it....its like your heart beating man... it just...... happens.... But usually the knee problem comes from the pressure that travels up from the foot and is absorbed by your knees as you walk in your heels... simple solution... do what i fucking said and take flats if you have to move "from place to place" and wear your heels when your back in the office, or in the car, or like at fucking court or something.... duh....

 Other than that, and falling on your fucking ass, or falling while pregnant... I don't really think there is anything to be afraid of! So you go on out there with your head held high, and your bazooms proudly thrust forward, and your eyes ahead... and you WALK honey!  Because no matter how short you are... with the right pair of shoes... there will always be someone to step on.....


Say Hi... or remind me not to suck at life and forget to blog about hilarious shit!

I have not abandoned you.....

I have had the month from hell y'all.... House hunting.... Fucking worrying about my honey back at fucking work again.... 8 and 10 fucking day in a row work weeks for me... I shouldn't complain dude... My husband hasn't had a day off since..... Umm..... Well it's been at least 9 months..... And he works 18+ hour work days.... And to top it all off... I'm worried about the constant pain in my feet...


  I used to be able to cha cha around in my heels all day and think nothing of it.... But for the last two months all I can stand is about 4 hours. My heels are mondo bruised bros.... Like constant pain day and night... It is agony to put my feet down when I get out of bed... And we all know that walking.... Is kinda a privilege one shouldn't take for granted... And when you can walk.... You kinda do it allot....

So I'm not TRYING to ignore my shoe blog... Trust me on this.. But I'm faced with a possibility Of surgery to reconnect torn tendons to my heel if I can't fucking find a good solution.... And I'm afraid as fuck of needles, doctors, bills, and having any part of me fucking cut on... I don't like blood and I like pain even less... Well I mean the constant nagging pain of recovery from having my shit torn open and operated on... And the recovery time is at least 6 fucking months if I want to be able to ever wear my high ass heels again.... So yea... Other things on my mind...

 But tomorrow I actually already have an outline of HIGH HEEL myths I am totally gonna get all myth buster on y'alls asses with! Because too many people I've talked to are like "high heels are the debble" and "they ruin your posture" and all that bullarky.... And their not and they don't. So you can tell the nay Sayers to suck your ass.

And before you think that high heels did this dirty juju to my feet... You can stop right fucking there.... FLATS did this to me!! I think because I hardly ever wore them... And going back to work to occupy my time has required me to a: wear fucking flat shoes 6-8 hours a day, ans b: be on my fucking feet for that long! So yes children... My feet have been trained to "Barbie toe" since I was a wee young lass (I swear I think I was the only bitch in high school who wore heels... Everyone even scoffed at my kick ass black wedges and thought they were scandeloso..)


 But tomorrow... Some shoe myths I've come across will be debunked..... I promise.... So as Jesus may or may not have said, "don't fucking abandon me aye, cuz I'm gonna be back with a fucking vengeance" *dont quote me on that..... The bible has never been my strong suit... Aggressive competitive cussing and shoe hunting is my forte***