Face Down.... Ass Up.... Thats The Way We....... Tie Our SHOES!

Well... I don't know about where you live... but here in California the weather is getting tit bit nippley around these parts.. So you know what that means?????

BOOT SEASON IS HERE AGAIN!!!!!

As with everything.... I wear high heel Boots... I just really don't dig flats in any capacity....

These are My Own Personal Babies. GUESS Platform Boots-Knee High

These aren't the only pair i have... but i have some :::::ahem::::: cleaning to do in my closet? so i have a pair of Really neat "Snub Toed" brown boots and a pair of "Cat Woman" Jessica Simpson Round Toed boots... and i think a few other pairs but who cares?

Lets Talk Boots....


Boots are pretty sweet for like cold weather and shit.... but if you're gonna go ahead and traverse the rain and all that... you might want to do it in some ugly ass rain stompers... i guess... see i wouldn't know because i don't wear them... but i do know that the heels on my boots you see above... slide out from underneath ya... Ive seen it... almost had it happen to me...but I'm such a champ i remember to distribute all of my weight to the front of the heel ... 

Better Detail

 In this picture you can see that the "Toe" part of the boot has a treaded rubber sole on the bottom... but that heel is a killer and i don't recommend going out when its like WET and RAINY in some stiletto Heeled boots... unless you are a champ (like me) You need some "Square Heeled" Boots. Oh fuck it.. let me dig out my brown boots to show you.... Santa......

  First Off i Might as well get this out of the way....... My post about being upset about the disarray in my closet... its not a joke.... check it out

Compare this hot mess

To This OCD Perfection.... SIGH...

............. So now that you've seen this you will see why its annoying for me to look for a shoe... and i only found one ahahahaha..... Anyhow... I found my "Rain Boot"

This is a NINE WEST Boot.

You can See the Heel isn't my Usual "hooker heel"

 My grandpa bought these for me one Christmas because he always thought it was funny that i wore heels and was 6Feet Tall.... Dunno why he thought it was funny... he was 6'4".......

     These Boots have a pretty sweet rubber sole... so slipping is minimal... and the heel covers more surface area so it helps your ass stay in place....

 So if you are going to choose a pair of boots for the "rainy season" you really cant go wrong with a nice pair of boots with a good solid heel... You could always do actual rain boots... but i have yet to find a pair that doesn't put me in mind of a crab fisherman when i see them.... there's just not one redeeming quality about a rain boot children... unless you are.... a child i guess... but then all i think of is RAMONA THE PEST
 ;)

 Anyhow... moving on.... if you're gonna wear your LEATHER BOOTS in any kind of inclement weather you need to WEATHERPROOF Your boots!!! I CANNOT Stress this enough!! Whether you use Scotch guard or some other weatherproofing agent... you need to need to NEED TO do this to your leather boots!! If you don't you run the risk of WATER SPOTS, these strange ass SCALY PATCHES on your boots (Usually where they bend *at the ankles, toes*) They can become discolored and just generally look totally unsweet.... You can find instructions on weatherproofing online HERE

Now i KNOW some of you are like "well I'll by-pass those whole debacle by wearing faux leather... and get around the slipping by wearing flat boots".... fine... do what you have to do.... i don't give a rats big fat fart about your fucking flat ugly ass boots... 'specially if you don't care about my totally awesome super hero-esqe high heeled knee-high boots.... bitch....  and don't even BOTHER giving me the whole PETA schpeal about leathers and furs and whatever the fuck else you have your hard-on for at the moment... because i don't give a dead bunny about that either...

So if you wanna wear some .... uuuhh..... "faux" leather shoes... you know... that's on you.... No seriously... i know some folks who will do these:

Hey honey if you want to look forever 21 (Cheap as fuck) all your life then by all means go head... i haven't worn an ankle boot since i was in like 4th grade... and that's because my grandma didn't understand my hatred of ugly shoes. But She learned.... eventually....  anyhow... these "boots" (its a shame to call them that... their kinda like ugly ass "Granny boots" without the gay ass heel) are usually made out of cheap materials that end up "peeling"/Cracking off of the shoe itself... but if you like that look... by all means honey... go forth....

"Booties" kinda make me gag too... tho even I will admit that #3 is kinda hot...



 allll except one pair that i didnt get to try on because the Macys in San Francisco Didnt have my size...


There's just something about these that i find sexy... even tho its a "bootie"...i just think it would look and feel awesome... tho of course i would love it even more if it was knee high...
 

Or I know some of y'all are gonna wear these:









   In which case not only are you committing the sin of the flat boot... you are also compounding said sin with the sin of the slouch boot.... and you should be shot down....
I guess my obsession with knee High Boots comes from a love of Super Hero women who all had kick ass boots... there's not one super hero that i can think of who didn't have the sexiest outfits all tied together with a hot pair of heels... and YES YES YES i know comic books at the characters therein were all created for MEN... but as a woman who doesn't really like women as people to begin with (not very many close female friends on this end) seeing a strong woman who doesn't deal in drama and isn't the damsel in distress... and isn't a Betty or veronica... was a very powerful message...

 Helloooooo SHE-RA was my fucking INTRODUCTION to some hot ass mutherfucking boots... i remember BEGGING my mom for some just like hers.... she kept saying "when you're older..... maybe" probably hoping id forget.... well mom... i didn't... and the lust just got worse... you shoulda just given in... maybe i wouldn't be the way i am now ;)



And YES i know some of the bitches wear flats... but their ALWAYS made to look like their wearing heels... so fuck you  and the flats you walked in on :)

 I GUESS what it all boils down to is what you feel comfortable in... i mean its you that's gonna be sprawled out on your ass in the end... not me... so by all means wear what you want... just don't wear em around me if you KNOW their something I'm not gonna be too keen on.... and for the love of sweet fat Santa... don't fucking ask me "These are cute, right?" because 9 times out of 10... you wont fucking like my answer.... not that you like my opinions much now.... but you have to admit their informative.... and if their not informative at least their entertaining....


Lets move on... shall we?... now i will admit this is a realm of boot that even *I* in all my power and shoe savvy.... have yet to delve into..... the OVER THE KNEE BOOT.... or even.... the THIGH HIGH BOOT.... i guess i just don't think the PRETTY WOMAN HOOKER BOOT look is all that attractive... tho as with the "ankle boot" there are a few pairs of Over-the-Knee/Thigh High Boots that i wouldn't mind being spanked in bed while wearing (hint hint J)


 Oh yes honeys.... we're FUCKING GOING THERE!!!! Built in Leather GARTERS!!! EAT IIIITTTT!!! And then Sop the rest up with a MUTHERFUCKING BISCUIT BABY!

 If you're gonna go big.... go all the fucking way, Right?


  So what did we learn today??

Its Boot season!
Waterproof/weatherproof your leathers!
Don't buy cheap ass shoes unless you want to buy three times as many pairs as you would for just splurging on the better pair...
Knee High Boots are Sexy
I like to be Spanked
I don't like women that much
Thigh-High Boots may need some looking in to....


Wow... we learned allot today... and most of those things are relevant to the topic ;)





Next Time we're gonna cover BEING THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE and shit... since this is the season where its better to give than receive and to like reflect on your shit or some such shit... I'm gonna go through my shoes... one. pair. at. a. time. and we're gonna document them together.... it'll be fun for me... and hopefully interesting for you... either I'll take video.... or just post some pics....prollllly the pics... because i don't understand video editing and all that jazz...



Say Hi To the New Addition JW!!

 He likes the sweet ass fucking sounds of QUEEN... and it seems THE VIOLENT FEMMES.... He was the contributing editor on this blog... meaning... he laid around farting allot making me have to fan him off... and also meaning that i don't really care if there are typos or anything because i was busy viewing the cute....

JW And Ziggy.. perhaps the longest they've ever sat QUIETLY together....

Clever little witch.........

Yaaayyy its shoe day.... Ok I've decided that "shoe day" will be any fucking day I remember that I enjoy shoes..... Or any day I have something particularly interesting to rant on n on about..... So yaaayyyy its shoe day!

And I'm at the fucking gym on a level 20 elliptical while I type this shit out... Listening to some awesome shit in my ear holes.... Who's a multi-tasking mutherfucker?????

Hey! Over here!

Let's get this shit started:

Are crafty? If you are, consider yourself lucky.... I have a friend who can make old shit look like it was always made to look the way it turns out when she's done.... Like she found this ugly ass end table.... Flipped it upside-down.... Raped it.... Painted it.... And now its an awesome dog bed.... I kinda envy her....... Mainly because I can't do half the shit she does..... My expertise lies in shoe acquisitions, my inability to have one conversation without a cuss word in it, my instant ability to cut you down to size (my rapier wit.... Hahaha "tell her I have a rapists wit"), and my baking skills (I'm like a pirate june cleaver.... Apron and all)

I recently got a new job..... And its working out pretty sweet.... Closer to where I live.... Better co-workers (for the moooooost part -ones an absolute douche) and its paperwork... and allot of checking and details and phones and all that jazz.... Which I enjoy because I can keep pace when shits going fast... But when needed I can calm down stuff pretty well.....

Anyhow.... The new job is like in the "country" and I...... Am not.... I haven't camped anywhere for any reason a day in my fabulous shoe filled life...... And I intend to keep it that way.... Especially since J has filled his "camping" quota for a lifetime thanks to his being a US Marine and all ;) so I don't have to worry about those "fake-cactions"

The POINT of me mentioning the country aspect of my job..... There are wild ass bunnies running around...... And I see em all the time and the only two things I think are;
A: "damn bunny fur is soooo soft and 'fwuffy'"... I remember when my mom bought me a pair of rabbit fur lined black gloves when I was like 4..... I LOVED them... I wore those shits OUT children..... And I've wanted something as soft ever since..... Hence ("yea... HENCE") my love of all things fur and fur related..... Now I'm not talking of the bullshit nasty ass fruity "plushie" obsessed..... I'm talking straight up cruella DeVille infatuation..... Which my grandmother fed by telling me that the silver fox stole was mine when she passed away since I was the one who wore it at every given opportunity and "formal" (thank you Grandma Tommy.... You may have UFC fighting skills.... But I enjoyed ya)
B: (yea I'm still simi on topic) "I wonder how long itd take to catch one...... And kill it......."

Yep.... I want to catch a thumper just so I can...... "Undress" him/her.......... And then when the hide is all proper (see this is where I'd need help..... I dunno how to preserve the hide appropriately without making a hot bloody/matted mess) I want to cut pretty decent strips..... And place them on the back of a hot pair of sling backs!!!!

Tell me you've seen the same fur accented christian loubontin heels I have!!!!!

My my my my MY..... I do love them I do I do I dooooo.....

I just don't want shit so "feathery" like those tho..... So I want like a nice black or white rabbit fur accent to the back..... Or a tasteful "wafer" of rabbit fur on the toe of the shoe.... Like a sweet wafer of fur over the peep of a peep toe.... Thatd be sweet....

But alas...... I am not crafty/martha stewawrtly gifted enough to pull something like that off..... I can sit in silence for 5 minutes visualizing my mother in a kitchen cooking most anything.... And have a pretty decent recipe form in my head to replicate the things she made...... (Tho I have yet dared to create her grandmothers fried chicken (I don't like chicken on the bone.... And I don't like chicken with skin on it..... And I'm not really that sweet at frying shit yet)) but I cannot make THINGS..... Oh I try.... But I don't have an artsy/crafty bone in my body.....and I have even less patience for shit when it like needs time to do anything other than rise (so like "drying" "setting" or in any way having to be made in steps and I'm not gonna get to eat it or feed it to someone afterwards....) Is Pretty much out.... But hey..... If you have a decent set of heels and a hot glue gun and  YOU wanna spruce em up some.... I fucking salute you soldier! And I wish you god's speed!

I think my ultimate lust in life -other than a dream of  being a shoe BUYER for like a neimans, bloomies, nordstroms...... Or even a high end macys.....  Would be to DESIGN shoes.... And have a whole slough of.... Ahem..... "Reasonably priced" labor make them..... Or hell a crap load of fashion design interns..... I mean I understand the basic ABCs..... I just can't sketch what's in my head..... At least not Very well.... But I have the superpowers of being well spoken and quite verbose... (Natch) and I think I could get my point of view across well.... And I'm sure I could learn the actualities of construction and then have an even more hands-on approach to the process..... God that would rock..... I enjoy the changing nature of the fashion industry (including shoes and accessories) but I love that something can also come across as really "classic" and able to be versatile at the same time... It can be worn for years...

I have so many ideas going through my head... Once J comes home I might go back to school once we're pregnant and take a few fashion design courses for research.... Maybe it will give me an introduction to the important "construction" basics I lack...... At any rate it would save J money eventually if I am able to make the shoes I constantly visualize, search for, "kinda" see in the stores... And then hardly wear because they weren't "what I thought they'd be" and they didn't scratch that itch of need......

Being able to make my own shoes would send me to a whole orgasmic level of shoe love! LET'S DO IT!!!!!!

I'll have to do some (lots) of research.... And we may have to buy a house in a more...... Fashion friendly yet industrial..... Area of california (hello San Francisco!!! Mamas coming HOME)

Hmm..... I am going to devote my life (well I'll devote my weekend) to seeing how I can bring this all about..... Damn I may be crafty yet...... By crafty I mean manipulative and the owner of a man who's single goal in life is to make me happy.......... Kidding.....................

















Kinda....................