New iPad.... Must get used to it

Oookkkk... I'm just full of excuses aren't I????? But seriously...I just moved into the new "technology" times and got myself an iPad... And despite what a spoiled brat I may seem like... I rarely buy very expensive TOYS for myself (for some reason the price of shoes dont reslly factor into my "expensive toy" thought because i think of shoes as more of a necessity) but my brother and my husband were pretty insistent that I do something for myself, and to be honest.... I wanted some kind of tablet pc because when I go on vacation with the honey I'm going to want to be able to blog about the hideoderous shoes that I see.... Well for that reason and because we are on the hunt for a new house and I would like to be connected to my email when we're out and about... Without having my damn blackberry on every waking moment... . I'm so tired of phones that I can't see straight anymore... The phone and the Internet are the only ways I get to stay in contact with my husband as he is in fucking tennessee and works upwards of 18 hours a day sometimes (sometimes more) . But I'm trying to get used to the iPad and all that it does (or doesn't do I'm finding out) and this little ass key board is fuuuuuccckkkiiinnnggg annoying... I don't really dig touch screen.... And being the amazon that I am.... I feel like a giant on a little itty bitty fuckin calculator... I'm gonna have to invest in one of those keyboard things that connect via Bluetooth cuz even this little blurb is taking toooo much time.. So maybe today after I get the keyboard thing I'll blog fully on what I meant to.. But until then this is all I have... Cuz I just wanted to explain why I suck this week too... And don't woooorrrryyyy... This weeks REAL blog won't be "whaaa poor me I love my shoes too much" or anything super lame like that :) I'm thinking about writing about the constant search for the perfect shoe...... Or how to find a particular shoe without knowing the designer.. Or what the name of the shoe is (which my cousin and I came up against last month, and when my dog ate my purple pumps... I'd had 'em so long that they were no longer in season....) Yes I have shoes that I've had for a good long time that I haven't worn yet (my ziggySoHo black frilly scrappy sandals... I've worn the purple ones I've had...but not the black yet...) Ok I hate this keyboard, I gotta go Say haaaaayyy

My over-emotional attachment to my shoes..........

       I have this weird relationship with my shoes. I have this super odd attachment to them. I can recall where i got a pair from, what i was doing before I got them, how much they were, who i was with, how long it took me to find them, what else i considered before i bought them..... I just have an insane love for what I know best I suppose....

  so with that said... with my rain man-like ability to recall seemingly random facts about useless shit... I'll explain something I touched on in a previous post.........



I'd like to introduce you to........

These.................are my "Yellow Shoes Of Death".........

  I don't say these are my yellow shoes of death because their so fucking awesome (which they are... trust me).... I say it because..... well....ok... here it goes...... These were the shoes I was wearing the day i found out my Mother had Died.... it was the FIRST time i had ever worn them (got them on ebay.... 29.78 *shipping included* after a 3 week search for "the perfect yellow heel"... I also bought a pair of giraffe print double platform heels from a different seller...) I fucking loved them... and waited for the perfect time to wear them to work... I'd just bought the cutest yellow bolero jacket that matched the sunny yellow color of these shoes....

        And then I was walking to my car to go make the bank deposits for the retail stores My office owned in the area..... and I noticed my mama had called and left a voice mail........ so I listened to it while I was walking to the car............ and it wasn't my mama.......... it was my 21 year old brother telling me that our mom had died...... my mother..... who I just called 2 days before.. and didn't talk to because my brother had said she was sick and didn't feel good.. had died..... my mother had laid down at the end of her bed... leaned back and seemingly fell asleep......... but never woke up.........
    Needless to say.......... when I finally got home that day... I'd taken my shoes off and put them in the closet.... and laid down to cry myself out a little.... and I've never had these shoes on my feet again.... never even put them on to see if they're still as awesome as I remember...


 So there you go... now you know about "the yellow shoes of death"........... and honestly...... I kinda feel better finally sharing that information... and looking at my shoes on the floor in front of me as I write this... I kinda want to put them on.... but a part of me is still scared that maybe they hold some kind of odd ass bad luck... I dunno... we'll see...

........... I also remember every pair of shoes that my honey, J, has bought me. I remember the shoes I had when I was little (hand-me-down vans slip ons.... before they were fucking popular... and I hated them and cried every time I was forced to put them on because they were BOYS shoes).... and I ESPECIALLY remember the shoes that have been RUINED since I got my dog, Ziggy.

This is Ziggy Clarke.... and don't be fooled by that fucking face... he's a dream smasher....

  My bug as eaten three pairs of flip flops (fuck em those shits are a dime a dozen as far as i am concerned. One pair of Steve Madden Purple peep toe strappy sandals

These... he ate these...

He fucken ate the purple ones after id worn them FOR THE FIRST FUCKING TIME!!!!!! But I'd worn them to a funeral... so it must be something about my "sad" shoes that he doesn't like.. fuck if I know... or maybe hes a douche...

I have another pair of shoes I wore the day I met my honey that I love and cherish and have only worn twice since meeting him (I don't want to fuck em up! They have memories now!)

The Purple Pair of ZiggySoHo Heels (yes i loved them so much I got them in black too. I haven't even worn the black ones)

So not all my shoes are"sad" but that is usually the reason I cant wear them anymore.


Enough of this sad crap..... next week will be about THE SEARCH FOR THE PERFECT SHOE... I am currently in the market for a pair of Yellow heels... go figure... but it is summer after all ;)


        I know this wasn't even half as long as last weeks long ass rant and rave... and you may think "bitch was a day late to post and all she did was tell us the death shoe story"........... but thinking about that really takes allot out of me... it was my mama... I miss her every day. Every Single Fucking Day. She was the only person in this world, (besides J (but I found him after we'd both lost BOTH of our parents)) who loves me for me. She loved me despite my fucking gratuitous cussing... she loved me despite my cold heart and inability to see things from other peoples perspective. And she loved my shoes and loved hearing my stories that I would tell about how I got them and who I had to fight to get them....


  So until next week... look through your closet and see what memories may be evoked by the shoes that are held in there... you'd be surprised...

                 Elizabeth Mae Clarke

I've worked 7 days in a row with out a day off.... so bare with me...

........... monday's are shoe rant days... but im just too fuckin tired.... im sorry y'all.... i'll update tomorrow.... i already have the outline of tomorrows strange ass topic "shoes i cant wear anymore"...  its about my over emotional attachment to my shoes... and it explains my "yellow death shoes" that i breifly mentioned in rules-weeks blog...

   I'll be on my 8th straight day of fucking work tomorrow without a day off... but i have the 4th of july off! But i WILL update Tomorrow....

...until then... as always... keep it classy... or keep it as classy as you can while you kick ass at life.......

You can find me on FACEBOOK and bitch me out if you want... but i'll just cuss you out.